Death of a Pumpkin

We didn’t mean to hurt you.

Our cuts were meant to open,

to free,

to bare your face to the world.

You were meant to smile.

But you caved to tiny doubts,

little spores,

entertained them in your teeth

let them settle in your eyes,

until the face we gave you

withered.

Why did you give your smile

to the mold?

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Spookiness by Jonah

The Sheep Curse

Once upon a time, there was a boy. His name was Jonah. And he had a stuffed sheep, and his name was Sheepy.

Sheepy was his favorite toy. He was his first toy. Jonah had him ever since he was a baby. When Jonah slept, he snuggled Sheepy. In the daytime, Jonah gave him piggy back rides.

One day, Jonah was in the bathroom. But before he got out, he was a sheep. “Oh no! Not a sheep!” Jonah said. Was it Sheepy’s fault?

“No,” Sheepy said.

The End?

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Hello. It’s me, the former blogger.

Here is a sadly overdue update:
We started school five weeks ago. Our new schedule is fabulous, thanks to Google Calendar’s ridiculously helpful planning tools. I have the entire year mapped out and now I only have to remember to keep up with it, which sounds easy, but being me, it’s the hardest part of all. Seriously, since college there are days when I simply FORGET there is such a thing as school. I used to have nightmares in which I would wake up on the day of the final and realize that I had forgotten to attend the class at all up to that day. This dream was, in fact, based on reality. Oh, brain. Oh, silly, flighty brain. And now I am in charge of the education of six little humans. May God help us all.

Also, I am still studying Japanese. I love studying Japanese (and history and art and culture). I’m secretly working out ways to make myself useful in Japan and simultaneously get immersed in the language. Well, maybe not secretly, but in a quiet, I-have-no-idea-when-and-so-I-will-be-patient way. I don’t feel itchy about it, but I think it will happen at some point.

My kids are huge. Today on the playground equipment they looked like giants. Yesterday I emailed my mom about next summer and told her the oldest four will be 7, 9, and 11 by then. That’s freaky. I love my crazy little geeks more and more.

Jason is still plugging away at a full time job that bores him to tears. He’s amazing and dedicated and stubborn, in a good way. I love him more, also. He’s started applying to some very cool positions where he could use his head and breathe a little. Be praying about it.

Our little church on the hill is having hard times all around. Lots of losses and changes and storms, but it’s amazing how God makes it beautiful. I love those people.

I’m really happy. Which is weird because this is one of the hardest times we’ve ever had, as far as circumstances go. It feels like what Paul was talking about when he said he’d learned to be content in all conditions– rich, poor, hungry, feasted, sick, healthy… We’ve been provided for and sustained in every situation we’ve met so far, and it has worked out for good.

I’m also continuously, sometimes unexpectedly in the middle of the day, heartbroken over my baby niece, Ruby, and over John and Cristin’s pain and loss and struggle. (If you haven’t been there, they’ve been keeping everyone up to date at http://rarerubyjean.blogspot.com/) But even in that John and Cristin keep coming back to how faithful and how beautiful their God is. It’s amazing. Sometimes these hard times can be miraculously sweet.

Things I’ve been struggling with lately:

• anything related to organizing/ordering/tidying
• managing distractions
• getting to bed on time
• and probably some other things that I’m too dull to notice.

I keep making plans and schedules to get myself in line, but so far nothing sticks. My ultimate FAIL in life so far is my inability to do the same thing twice. Love the creativity and spontanaeity and mobility. Don’t love the ineffectualness in simple, daily living. It’s my nemesis. Probably will be forever. But today I’m not too sad about it, so there you go. It’s getting better slooooooooooowly. Patience, patience, patience. Sigh.

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